Today I walked into a bookstore and felt deeply apprehensive.  The anxiety brewed; a mix of espresso and the overwhelming amount of knowledge around me.  Realizing my state of relative poverty, I questioned my recent choices, contrasting my lifestyle to that being pawned by the bookstore.

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At times, cultural idiosyncrasies I learned to appreciate while living in the campo reinvent themselves as sources of anxiety.  For example, in the campo, waiting for two hours for transportation is acceptable.  Few transportation options exist, so arriving late is normal.  On the contrary, in Panama City, waiting a devastating two hours inside a taxi (in a rainstorm with the window open for visibility) going to a dentist appointment is unacceptable. Especially when I must spend my day’s salary on the fare.  Then, arriving to the dentist’s office late, I find the dentist has gone home.  Instead of returning to Chiriquí, I must spend another day waiting for an appointment. The waiting leads me to the bookstore, where I spend exorbitant amounts of money on coffee and gaze at pretty things I can’t afford.

  A deeper anxiety underlies my decision to stay in Panama another year.  Being in the bookstore unearths stresses emerging from being broke and intellectually starved.  Lately, interminable tasks eat away at time usually spent on reading interesting books.  During days spent speaking in Spanish out in the countryside, and nights spent alone, intellectual conversations are rare. I miss parts of the lifestyle in the US: coffee shops, bookstores, hot showers and other luxuries that the average American enjoys daily.  More than these simple luxuries, however, I miss events like those advertised on the posters in front of me: jazz concerts, charity events, photography contests, yoga classes and lectures led by people with lots of letters after their names. These things exist in Panama City to a degree, but I don’t have the time or money to enjoy them during my infrequent visits to the City.  My insatiable thirst for caffeinated beverages is only a symptom of my craving for intellectual life.

  The bookstore with its enticing books about sustainable architecture, novels by Isabelle Allende and Paulo Cuelho, world atlases and travel guides, does not sadden me.  On the contrary, I wish I could stay here, page through the books and sip coffee interminably.  I feel apprehensive because soon I will return to my solitary life in Chiriquí, where I may be thoughtlessly busy for over a year.  I worry the time spent and personal sacrifices made may not be worth the outcome.  The deep roots of this apprehensiveness flag the need stop and ponder my decisions.  What better place to think than over a cappuccino at a bookstore?

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Written for the Bajareque Times:

“Como estas?” “Bien!”  “COMO ESTAS?” “BIEN!”

The shouts of forty adolescents resounded throughout Alto Boquete May 29th through June 1^st as the first annual Panama Verde Regional camp in Chiriquí was underway.  The Panama Verde Association, in cooperation with several Peace Corps Volunteers, led the camp, “Leaving Tracks,” held at the Franciscan Center in Alto Boquete.  Forty young adults arrived to Boquete from five rural and semi-rural communities in Chiriquí, including Los Pocitos, Alanje, Piedra de Candela, Paja de Sombrero and Bajo Chiriquí.  It was the first trip to Boquete for many of the participants.  “One of the kids in my group hadn’t left the community [Bajo Chiriquí] for five years until I brought him to this camp,” said the Peace Corps Volunteer from Bajo Chiriquí, a community near the Costa Rican Border.  Many young adults in Panama cannot afford to travel even short distances to experience other parts of their country.  The camp, sponsored by the Panama Verde Association, The Rotary Club of Boquete, Café Eleta and Café Almir, gave the young adults a chance to visit a beautiful part of the country, meet other youth from around the province, and participate in educational lectures and community service projects.

 The Panama Verde Association is run by a dynamic, youthful set of staff and volunteers who focus on youth leadership, social stewardship and environmental conservation.  The Association began twelve years ago, when a Peace Corps Volunteers started a youth group in a rural community in Panama.  Since then, the Association has expanded to over 30 youth groups spread throughout the country.  It is currently the only organization in Panama to focus exclusively on helping young adults develop crucial skills such as leadership and political activism that will allow them to become the future leaders of Panama, and have the environmental conscience to help protect Panama’s fragile environment. 

 Besides having fun, the primary objectives of the camp, “Leaving Tracks”, were to strengthen the network of Panama Verde groups in the province, to participate in community service activities in Boquete and to develop projects to carry out in the respective communities of each group.  These objectives were met with the help of local interest groups, including ReaL Boquete, who gave a presentation about the importance of recycling, and ANAM, who educated the participants about reforestation.  The youth performed community service work in the ANAM tree nursery, clearing the area for future planting.  Other activities included a debate about the environmental impacts of hydroelectric projects, the development of community projects and group problem solving games.  The first annual Panama Verde Regional camp was a success, and we now have a strong network within the Chiriquí province to guarantee more events in the future!