In the past few weeks, my life has changed from basking in the tranquility of my little house in the country to tackling a set of hurdles on the way to fulfilling a new role.  The first jump was moving from my site, pop 400 to Chiriquí's capital, David, pop 100,000.  During the first couple of days in my new "city" apartment, we hosted 14+ people over the course of two nights.  Life has settled down a bit since then, and I enjoy the occasional visitor.

Training for the role of Regional Leader of Chiriquí has been fun, since I have a month of overlap with the current RL, Liz.  Thus, we share a house and job responsibilities for awhile during a time of adjustment for us both.  This month I've visited several agencies in town, traveled to see four out of seven of the new volunteers in the province, and done a little more paperwork than I'm used to doing.

Finally, I'm proud to say that I finished my first marathon last Sunday!  Looking at the results, I'm happy to have finished 14th in the female division, with a time of 4:11:32.  It was a fun race, and a nice cloudy morning, although raining for the last few miles!  The first day of recovery was rough, but today I can say I'd do another in the future!  I heard a rumor they give prize money to the top 12 finishers in each division, so I have a goal to shoot for next year!  Thanks to all those who were supportive.

Next on the list is tackling the grad school entrance exam and applications, along with a solid waste/recycling project in towen and other RL duties.  It should be a busy few months.  I'm looking forward to a month vacation to the States over Christmas.  In the meantime, in Panama there remains a new adventure to be tackled daily.  Saludos!

Today I walked into a bookstore and felt deeply apprehensive.  The anxiety brewed; a mix of espresso and the overwhelming amount of knowledge around me.  Realizing my state of relative poverty, I questioned my recent choices, contrasting my lifestyle to that being pawned by the bookstore.

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At times, cultural idiosyncrasies I learned to appreciate while living in the campo reinvent themselves as sources of anxiety.  For example, in the campo, waiting for two hours for transportation is acceptable.  Few transportation options exist, so arriving late is normal.  On the contrary, in Panama City, waiting a devastating two hours inside a taxi (in a rainstorm with the window open for visibility) going to a dentist appointment is unacceptable. Especially when I must spend my day’s salary on the fare.  Then, arriving to the dentist’s office late, I find the dentist has gone home.  Instead of returning to Chiriquí, I must spend another day waiting for an appointment. The waiting leads me to the bookstore, where I spend exorbitant amounts of money on coffee and gaze at pretty things I can’t afford.

  A deeper anxiety underlies my decision to stay in Panama another year.  Being in the bookstore unearths stresses emerging from being broke and intellectually starved.  Lately, interminable tasks eat away at time usually spent on reading interesting books.  During days spent speaking in Spanish out in the countryside, and nights spent alone, intellectual conversations are rare. I miss parts of the lifestyle in the US: coffee shops, bookstores, hot showers and other luxuries that the average American enjoys daily.  More than these simple luxuries, however, I miss events like those advertised on the posters in front of me: jazz concerts, charity events, photography contests, yoga classes and lectures led by people with lots of letters after their names. These things exist in Panama City to a degree, but I don’t have the time or money to enjoy them during my infrequent visits to the City.  My insatiable thirst for caffeinated beverages is only a symptom of my craving for intellectual life.

  The bookstore with its enticing books about sustainable architecture, novels by Isabelle Allende and Paulo Cuelho, world atlases and travel guides, does not sadden me.  On the contrary, I wish I could stay here, page through the books and sip coffee interminably.  I feel apprehensive because soon I will return to my solitary life in Chiriquí, where I may be thoughtlessly busy for over a year.  I worry the time spent and personal sacrifices made may not be worth the outcome.  The deep roots of this apprehensiveness flag the need stop and ponder my decisions.  What better place to think than over a cappuccino at a bookstore?

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Written for the Bajareque Times:

“Como estas?” “Bien!”  “COMO ESTAS?” “BIEN!”

The shouts of forty adolescents resounded throughout Alto Boquete May 29th through June 1^st as the first annual Panama Verde Regional camp in Chiriquí was underway.  The Panama Verde Association, in cooperation with several Peace Corps Volunteers, led the camp, “Leaving Tracks,” held at the Franciscan Center in Alto Boquete.  Forty young adults arrived to Boquete from five rural and semi-rural communities in Chiriquí, including Los Pocitos, Alanje, Piedra de Candela, Paja de Sombrero and Bajo Chiriquí.  It was the first trip to Boquete for many of the participants.  “One of the kids in my group hadn’t left the community [Bajo Chiriquí] for five years until I brought him to this camp,” said the Peace Corps Volunteer from Bajo Chiriquí, a community near the Costa Rican Border.  Many young adults in Panama cannot afford to travel even short distances to experience other parts of their country.  The camp, sponsored by the Panama Verde Association, The Rotary Club of Boquete, Café Eleta and Café Almir, gave the young adults a chance to visit a beautiful part of the country, meet other youth from around the province, and participate in educational lectures and community service projects.

 The Panama Verde Association is run by a dynamic, youthful set of staff and volunteers who focus on youth leadership, social stewardship and environmental conservation.  The Association began twelve years ago, when a Peace Corps Volunteers started a youth group in a rural community in Panama.  Since then, the Association has expanded to over 30 youth groups spread throughout the country.  It is currently the only organization in Panama to focus exclusively on helping young adults develop crucial skills such as leadership and political activism that will allow them to become the future leaders of Panama, and have the environmental conscience to help protect Panama’s fragile environment. 

 Besides having fun, the primary objectives of the camp, “Leaving Tracks”, were to strengthen the network of Panama Verde groups in the province, to participate in community service activities in Boquete and to develop projects to carry out in the respective communities of each group.  These objectives were met with the help of local interest groups, including ReaL Boquete, who gave a presentation about the importance of recycling, and ANAM, who educated the participants about reforestation.  The youth performed community service work in the ANAM tree nursery, clearing the area for future planting.  Other activities included a debate about the environmental impacts of hydroelectric projects, the development of community projects and group problem solving games.  The first annual Panama Verde Regional camp was a success, and we now have a strong network within the Chiriquí province to guarantee more events in the future! 

Upon arrival to my house here in Los Pocitos, I was relieved to find the 40-ft tall mango tree in the backyard still heavy-laden with its luscious fruits.  In fact, the mango season had just begun, and the tree had so many softball-sized mangos that I was afraid that this year one might actually make it through the zinc roof during its descent.  Only a 15-ft bamboo pole can reach the lowermost branches, so instead of knocking them down, I wait to hear, and feel, the “BOOM”: the impact of a ripe mango on the dusty earth.  I rush out to seek out the freshly fallen mango amongst the graveyard of the Fallen, which are already being consumed by the bees and ants.  Breakfast is batido de mango con leche.

Tonight marks the first rain in several weeks.  It is hopefully the beginning of a delayed and long-awaited rainy season.  The past couple of days, thunder clouds rumbled by, but produced nothing but noise here on the coast.  This afternoon, I felt the first cool breeze in ages before I noticed the tiny puffs of dust that were lifted up by the first raindrops.  Then, the pitter-patter of water on the zinc became noticeable over the sound of the strong breeze that rattled the roof.  I felt the dense air of the heat and humidity be lifted from my shoulders as the breeze lifted it away and the rain pounded it to the ground.

 In addition to the mangos and the rain, today is even more exciting because the first soursop fruit from the tree in my backyard matured and was captured successfully before it could fall to the ground into a sad heap of its own delicious juices, a fate to which the first few fruits succumbed.  Soursop is my favorite fruit for several reasons:

1. The white, slippery fruit inside is very sweet, creamy and delicious, having some semblance to ice cream, but a bit slimier.
2. Soursop grow large, sometimes bigger than a basketball (today’s was more of a medicine-ball variety),
3. The fruit has an awkward shape, not being completely round, but more soft and lumpy looking, green, and with dull, soft, short spines spaced out intermittently all over the surface of the peel.  It looks like something out of a Dr. Suess book.

Soursop is a tropical fruit, and the first time I tried it was in Australia during a tour of an organic fruit farm.  The farmer was an aging hippie type who lived a subsistence life on his tropical fruit farm, on which he grew tropical fruits from around the world.  The tour was impressive to me, first because I discovered the wonderful soursop fruit, among others, but more so because I was immensely intrigued by the simple lifestyle of the fruit farmer and his wife. 

Continuing on with the fruit discussion, another tropical fruit obsession of mine are the lychee and rambutan fruits.  Here they are called mamones.  There are momones and momon chinos.  As far as I can decipher, the momones are the equivalent of the English word, “lychee” and mamon chinos are like rambutans.  The momon chinos are the juicier, better variety for the following reasons:

1. Mamon chinos are absolutely covered with long, soft spines, green when unripe, which turn yellow, then deep red as they ripen. 
2. They are fun to eat.  You pop open the fairly tough spiny outside, and get squirted by juice unless you know the technique.  Inside there is a slimy, perfectly round seed covered in a thin layer of sweet, transparent fruit, resembling an eyeball in size and texture.  Suck the fruit off the seed.  Spit out seed.  Fun.
3. Regular mamones are stringier and less juicy, leaving your mouth feeling slightly dry.  Mamon chinos are irresistibly juicy and grow in large bunches, making them easy to obtain in large quantities. When I was home in the States, I discovered Lychee juice, sold in a huge Asain wholesale supermarket.  Score.  Further investigation unearthed loads of lychee and rambutan products available in the US of A, a very untropical place for various reasons that I will not describe at the moment.  Other products include lychee flavored gummy candy, also obtained at the Asian warehouse in St. Paul, and freeze-dried rambutans, available at Trader Joe’s.  The cashier at the Asian warehouse promised an import of fresh lychees at some point during the growing season (around August, I imagine), but I doubt the quality of these fragile imports to non-tropical areas. 

The fruit of the tropics is one of the many incentives to stick around Panama for one more year…

Ahh...the comforts of home.  The view out the patio window paints a snowy landscape.  I tap away on my sleek new computer, sip on a cup of Cafe de Eleta coffee and bask in the feeling of relaxed muscles after a hot shower.  It is almost enough comfort to draw me in, enough relaxation, movies, CNN and conversations about the latest campaign news and de moda clothing styles, to make me forget about the other part of my life that awaits back in Panama.

Yet half of my mind is constantly there, following the daily routines of my neighbors, activities of my friends, weather patterns, the maturity level of my mango tree.  I appreciate the comforts of home and the visits with family and friends.  It is refreshing to be here, knowing that I will be going back, for at least 3 more months, if not an extension of an entire year.  Adapting to life in a new place takes time and effort, and now that I am adapted to life in Panama, it will be difficult to leave, whenever that time may come.

I am conducting a social experiment.  I want to know what you consider necessity, to define a standard of living.  Obviously, it depends on climate, etc (in MN we need HEAT!), but describe to me a basic setting where all your needs are met so you are not only surviving, but thriving.  Shoot me an email with your thoughts!

"But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy." - Ghandi

My companions and I have two weeks to fundraise about $2,ooo from local businesses in order to hold a youth camp, "Dejando Huellas", for about 50 youths in the Chiriquí province. I spent yesterday in Boquete, hitting up the local Rotary Club, Alcaldía and local supermarkets, and am in David today to finish up some similar tareas. There are few deadlines with this job, but this camp needs to be held before classes begin mid-March. It needs to happen, along with various other things that need to happen before mid-March, when not only classes begin, but I leave the country for a visit home. Deadlines naturally involve stress, something that I have been lucky not to experience for awhile, since the country goes on hold for the vacation months of November - February.

I reflect on this stress and wonder if it is taking away from the joy of my daily life. In essence, it is not, but there are other more significant traits that may take away from the "joy of service" that I strive for. Since my job is virtually self-directed, not only from day to day, but even to the extent of project selection, stress and lack of joy can only be blamed on myself. Stress can be a good thing, in moderation, since it is a good motivator. However, it is necessary to have a balance, or stress will start wearing on the mind, body and soul, which is bound to reflect outwardly on how one reacts to the world, and thus, how the world reacts to said individual. As of this moment, the stress is good, but I look back to life in the States and wonder if it is possible to keep such a balance.

Moving on, I have found that it is not stress, but pride that most negatively affects the "joy of service". Pride slows learning to the point of making true learning virtually impossible, and interferes with potential and current relationships. It can be a mask for insecurity. For someone involved in a service position, humility is absolutely necessary. I write these statments to remind myself of their validity. I look to the next few months as being productive, because my end date mid-July is looming. My number one goal is to lose the mask of pride and spend as much time as possible in my community. Now that the toughest periods of language acqusition, establishing myself in my community, adapting to a new culture and making new friends are over, I have the next few months to indulge in the joy of service, not without a little stress to get the projects done!